Osloh Porteur Women’s Cycling Jeans [Review]

I have a confession to make: when I was invited to review Osloh’s Women’s Porteur Jean my heart sank a little.

Firstly, because my usual narrative style of writing is difficult to achieve against the backdrop of an eleven-month lockdown in Leicester (I have no stories to tell!), and secondly because, well, jeans.

I hate jeans.

No, that’s not true. I love jeans. I hate buying jeans.  

PICTURED: Bicycle Anatomy 101 Mug (Limited Edition)

There are undoubtedly many women who are elegantly slender, and cycling seems to make them ever more so, but I am not such. I am, I suspect like most women, curvy and cycling just makes my thighs ever bigger and less amenable to getting into jeans that might actually fit my 32-inch waist.  

And here is a fella, ordering jeans on my behalf whilst I contemplate the horror of producing a review that basically recounts how I couldn’t get them over my backside. 

I am sure a huge number of women will sympathise with my relief when these 32-inch jeans happily and snugly fit… everything.

Women’s Bike Jeans Fit

The thighs, the hips, the backside, and the waist all in proportion: a rare thing indeed, and these are hips that once prompted a dress maker to mutter ‘no, no, that can’t be right’ and go back for a second attempt to make them more ‘likely’. Rarer still in cycling where the ‘Italian fit’ lurks waiting to ambush our self-esteem at every corner.  

The Porteur Jean is an absolute joy!

Commuter Jeans?

I confess to doubts about tackling a 26-mile a day commute in jeans, but they were as comfy as the lycra I sometimes resort to in winter.

Little popper-tags on the waist band allow you to tighten the waist and prevent any slippage, and the high-waist cut ensures preservation of dignity.

The obvious areas of the jean are reinforced and lightly padded for both comfort and durability but without creating unsightly bulk. The inner calf is also reinforced against the chain. 

The cut of the Porteur Jeans is ‘skinny’ in as much as they are a fitted jean but certainly allowing for the realities of the female form. 

Jeans for Cycling to Work

As well as being handy on a bike, they were comfortable for walking and working in the office though my route to work being currently 5 feet underwater it may be summer before I can realistically cycle to work and remain in the same clothing (I hardly feel this is the fault of the manufacturer). 

Given current conditions, they’ve had a dozen runs through the wash since Christmas; they are colour-fast and wash well, just don’t wash them inside out if they are covered in mud as the texture of the denim will trap the debris in the leg and deposit it on your carpet (my bad).  

Pockets

I can conceive but two improvements to these jeans of wonder; firstly, the label inside the waist band occasionally irritates the skin and secondly, a sealable pocket! In particular, the pocket on the rear to prevent my mobile phone wandering into a puddle.  

There are no less than five pockets to the front, one big enough to pop a mobile into and two of those little ones I assume are for cash, before cash got plastic and started climbing out of pockets, and two normal size (I.e., slightly too small) ones. As they rest over the hip, their capacity is limited by the need to pedal; the big one is deep enough to safely stash keys though, provided you’re not a professional jailer.

The rear pockets (two of) are big enough to stash a mobile and ID card round the office, but not on the move. A popper-ed pocket would be perfection! 

Osloh Porteur Women’s Cycling Jeans Review Summary

In summary: great jeans, great value, great fit; definitely not just for cycling.

The Osloh Porteur Jeans are normally available for $129, but you can currently pick them up in the sale for $69. Worldwide shipping is available.

You can also get $5 off at Osloh by using our exclusive discount code: DISCERNING5.

Read More:

• Best Cycling Jeans for Men + Women [Top 5]
• Best Chinos for Commuters [Top 5]
• Best Urban Cycling Shorts [Top 5]